Old Fountain - Old Street, London

3 Baldwin St, London, EC1V 9NU

Old Street roundabout is the poster child for UK tech. The looping arms of the ad hoardings, the swirling taillights of a lengthy shutter speed. Squint and it's Blade Runner. In the cold pale light of day, that shine wears off though. The roundabout, just a maintenance yard covering a warren of tramp alleys and the claustrophobic station beneath. Even the beach ball bailed.

Perhaps an analogy for Shoreditch - a shiny tin-foil facade stretched across the ruins of 20th century London - or perhaps too many drinks with lunch at the Old Fountain; but, if that wafer thin analogy of Shoreditch holds true, then the Old Fountain is the reverse. A 1980s style pub (how would I know?), complete with worn green carpet and old men perched on stools nursing a half-pint through the various stages of evaporation, hides a modern menu, active Twitter account, and an ale list to kill for. Again, a CAMRA award or three hang behind the bar, but no Old Peculiar here, I’m drinking the evolutionary craft beer that is Zenith (4%) from Summer Wine Brewery.

Dotted with a few suits, a couple of local types, the old men at the bar, and a visiting couple from up North looking for a McDonald’s (dream on), at lunchtime the Old Fountain has a quiet atmosphere where two reprobates in the corner talking loudly disturb everyone. After two pints of Zenith, we didn’t care, although once the food arrived we quietened down. Eating a fairly standard salt beef sandwich, with fairly standard pub chips, I looked on in envy as an entire portion of duck confit large enough for two was consumed by one. Jealousy doesn’t begin to describe it, but I had the choice. I made my bed, and lay in it. I can’t complain. On a return visit - and there will be one - I’ll avoid the sandwiches and drive into a main. The only way to go.

The Jones Family Project - Shoreditch

78 Great Eastern Street, London, EC2A 3JL

Reviewing a restaurant can be hard when you like the people involved. To criticise a place for a lack of imagination or bland food, for instance, can be difficult when you've met the people who make a living from crafting the dish or promoting the place. Then again, criticism is supposed to be constructive, and any reviewer who turns a blind eye to the bad and comments only on the good due to matters of friendship is going to lack credibility, eventually.

Not that I'm skipping along arm-in-arm with the folks at The Jones Family Project, you understand. I've emailed them, tweeted them, and (now) met them (briefly) in person. However, it does make criticism all the harder to write. Luckily, I don't have to really.

The Jones Family Project delivered on what they had promised at their opening party. Steak served on a stick now came large, charred, and perfectly medium rare from the depths of their 500 degree Josper Charcoal Oven. Not quite the Fred Flintstone t-bone I once witnessed in Sao Paolo, but getting close. The recommended sides of macaroni cheese and grilled sprouts - served separately - were also damn good, even though I completely missed the avocado and nuts in the latter.

A comment has to be made here on the drinks. Flawless, they really were. An amazing vanilla scented red wine, everyone's favourite pretentious drink - a negroni - and glasses of calvados to finish. After that, I could still stand, but only just.

Now, unfortunately, I have to finish on a negative - for me and for them. In that classically English way, when asked for comment on the pudding, I nodded and replied that everything was fine. Pure Mark Corrigan. However, I lied. Sorry. Perhaps it was the friendliness of the staff and the quality of the food preceding it clouding my judgement, or perhaps just cowardice. Needless to say, the puddings weren't great. The overly large dish of chocolate mousse and a small loaf of brownie just lacked the refinement and flavour found in the rest of the meal. It was a shame, because everything else had been of such great quality. If they work on this I've no doubt gluttons from the four corners of London will be trekking here for dinner, often.

The Jones Family Project, The Three Crowns, The Reliance - Shoreditch

Various near Old Street

I wasn't going to mention The Jones Family Project - a new bar and restaurant opening this month on Great Eastern Street - as I attended a pre-opening party*: not necessarily the best indicator of food, service, or ambience of the place once open. The enthusiastic and polite staff, steak on a stick, and the surprisingly smart interior (yep, The Metro was right - the suits are coming to Shoreditch) changed my mind. I'll be back to try it properly, just keep the dates wrapped in bacon away from me.

Waiting for the party to start freed up some time for one of my favourite pastimes - sitting. Or more specifically, sitting in pubs. The Three Crowns and The Reliance - both crawling distance from Old Street Station - are two great pubs. The former - another smartly dressed venue - gives up more floor-space to food than it does to the bar, creating a cosy atmosphere when busy. There are plenty of seats though and if you can't get a table, you can perch on a stool at the window playing count the fixies and 'spot the red chinos' with the passing traffic on City Road. 

As for The Reliance, I've treated it as a pre-dinner boozer far too often. It just has the look of a pub that pulls a good pint, but if you asked for some food they'd have to blow dust off the microwave. A glance at the chalk-board revealed an enticing menu though - I really should eat there soon.

*Disclaimer: drinks and nibbles at the pre-opening party were provided free-of-charge.

Tramshed - Shoreditch

32 Rivington Street, London, EC2A 3LX

According to the Metro, Shoreditch has lost its edge. No longer the refuge of dead-beat artists clawing an existence from the gutter, where carrying a lowly iPhone 3 would get you mugged, Shoreditch is now a candy land for the affluent, with Liverpool Street suits wandering up for lunch at a high street eatery or over-priced poncery. These days the Gucci-clad thieves won't give you a second glance unless your iPhone 5 carries an 's'.

Perhaps Shoreditch has lost its edge. I've no idea. I haven't worked here for that long. What I can say is that I'd rather trade edge for security, impoverished artists for cash points, and salmonella for quality food. Shoreditch is awash with good places to eat. Of a lunchtime, you can glutton your way from Old Street to High Street, and back again, on cheap eats, eye-watering bills, and everything in between. Try doing that in Harlesden.

Just off the glutton trail, tucked down Rivington Street, is a surprisingly large hall that is Tramshed. Owned by a renowned chef (Mark Hix), with a Damien Hirst centre-piece, and occupying a building that could house no less than a hundred wannabe Yokos, Tramshed is everything the Metro must hate.

Tipping its hat to edgy credentials, at Tramshed you can dine almost exclusively on steak and chicken - I presume a vegetarian option is available, but they'd probably have to blow the dust off it first. The litmus test - steak and chips - was passed with flying colours, although I would say my steak was slightly more medium than rare. Bonus points too for being only the second place I've visited which serves Oxford Sauce. I just don't understand why this delicious, spicy brown, anchovy infused condiment isn't more widely available.

A series of sides accompanied our meal, but having foregone the recommended Oyster Ale (5.5%) in favour of champagne, I really can't remember what they were. I do recall the pudding, although I challenge anyone to forget a bowl of molten chocolate served with marshmallows and donut batter for dipping. I can also recall the envy felt for my friend's chicken and steak sandwich. Half the price of my meal and looking just as filling, if not more tasty, with crisp pieces of chicken skin poking out from each side.

When you next wade through the endless high street chains clogging the streets of Shoreditch, lamenting the disappearance of all those oh-so-trendy artists and violent muggings, turn to Rivington Street, visit Tramshed, and within minutes you just won't care.

Fifteen - Old Street

15 Westland Place, London, N1 7LP

(This review also appears on Hoxton Radio)

Is there a better known chef than Jamie Oliver? Aside from his soul, he's sold near enough everything related to the kitchen. Books, DVDs, school meals, supermarkets, pasta, and even a flavour shaker. There's probably a Jamie Oliver melon baller out there too.

With six different brands of restaurant to his name, including thirty-five Jamie's Italians, it's easy to forget about Fifteen. Now eleven years old - if you can believe it - Fifteen is where Jamie crafts skilled chefs from perennial underachievers. Pure alchemy, with a TV show tie-in, naturally.

Although tucked down an alley off City Road, a short walk from Old Street, I still expected Fifteen to be busy on a Sunday. While the Smokehouse in Islington had nothing until four o'clock, Fifteen had tables all day and their basement floor - possibly larger than the one upstairs - was deserted

Whether you like Jamie or not, and many seem to fall in to the latter category, there's no denying the quality of both his food and his venues. Extremely sleek, clean, neat, with dark wood throughout, the décor suggests a far higher priced meal than the menu offers. The service, however, was an issue. Polite and friendly to a tee, the staff seemed confused as to who was actually serving us, which resulted in a long wait for the first drink - a very autumnal Hackney Gold (5.5%) from Redchurch Brewery. There is also an insistence on reeling off the various components of each dish upon delivery, as if announcing the destinations of a train. When my food arrives, I want to eat it, not wait. The almost robotic speech indicates that staff have a good memory, not that they understand the food.

Of course, the food was perfect. The menu works like tapas on a slightly larger scale, with a definite English flavour. Choosing four or five dishes for two people produces a miniature banquet of a lunch and I felt very sorry for the table next to us who chose not to share. You could possibly stretch the description 'medieval' to the food, adding to the banquet feel. Bread with chicken infused butter, tender featherblade of beef with potato and cow's curd, deviled egg and smoked cod roe. A menu lifted from the pages of Game of Thrones.

Regardless of their view of Jamie Oliver, I defy anyone to visit Fifteen and not enjoy both the food and atmosphere. At £45 a head, including pudding, coffee, and a couple of beers, this isn't the cheapest lunch in Shoreditch, but nor is it the most expensive. Many would be surprised at how little they can spend and still come away fed. Well worth the short walk.

Yum Bun - Old Street

31 Featherstone Street, London, EC1Y

You would hope that rats and decent restaurants don't have a lot in common: at least, you'd hope they don't share the same kitchen. However, in London you're never more than 6 feet from a rat and I reckon the same can be said for good eateries. What's more, both are well hidden.

While we wait for the launch of the Pied Piper app, those with a smartphone can circumvent the shiny lights of the high street and use the British St. Food app or wherethefuckshouldigotoeat.com to find something worth eating. You can also turn to like-minded folks on Twitter and I have to thank @Feelgd_Foodbk for pointing me towards Yum Bun - I now cry to think how many times in the past fortnight I've walked ignorantly past Featherstone Street clutching a Pret sandwich.

Soft, warm, and perfect is as good a description as any for Yum Bun, and while I'm sure some people won't like the texture of the bun or the portion sizes (two wasn't enough for me - go for a bento!), the taste can't be questioned. On this, my first visit, I sampled the mushroom and the pork buns, but essentially the recipe doesn't change for all they offer: meat (or veggie), salad, and a dressing, all wrapped in a steamed bun. The balance of both of the buns was perfect - just enough tang of dressing on the mushroom, just enough spice on the pork (although granted that is down to personal preference), and just the right bread to filling ratio.

With only three hours of opening at lunch times, I was surprised not to find a lengthy queue. Now if only they offered a three for £9 deal, this could quickly become a regular lunchtime haunt.

The Weekly - 15 June 2013

Various

Each week I find myself in various pubs, bars, and restaurants that for reasons of time, company, or phone signal I can't flag or comment on. This is an attempt to give those places some recognition.

The Reliance - Old Street, London

Small 'grubby looking' boozer (my friends words, not mine) just around the corner from Hoxton Square with good music, friendly staff, and a host of great beers (just don't ask me to remember them).

Bubbly Bar - Oxford

Don't be fooled by the total absence of customers in the bar - people don't come here to sit inside. Outside, at the back of the building, a homemade lean-to covers a small balcony where locals (and some tourists) shelter throughout the year with shisha. Described by some as 'the most unique place in Oxford'.

Canton Arms - Stockwell, London

Apparently in a previous life this was a pit of a pub. Now gastro-led with an almost separate bar and restaurant, they pull a mean pint - Betty Stogs (4.0%) being my favourite - and offer wild boar, foie gras toasties, and whole legs of lamb to share.

Garden Bar & Restaurant - Latimer Road, London

Possibly Hawaiian themed cocktail bar next to the Hammersmith and City Line. Strangely lacking in knowledge on cocktails, they charge a hefty price to sit in their bamboo-lined garden.

Mau Mau Bar - Portobello Road, London

Serving the best rum punch during the Notting Hill Carnival (source: my mate), this certainly is the 'Bohemian melting pot' it claims to be. Some may be put off by the rowdy looking crowd outside who smell faintly of weed, but it's a friendly vibe inside - even the man with the blazer made of toilet roll said hello. Oh, and they don't take card at the bar.